From Miss to Missus

Walking on the Moon

2009-11-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

So I have a confession. I feel like the biggest idiot ever in this. But at the time that it was occurring, including the time leading up to and shortly after in fact, I was completely unaware of the whole moon/rocket event. I found out about it a week or so later. Truthfully, I thought it must have been a joke. I would hear mention of it in passing, see a brief line in posting. But I didn't take an ounce of it seriously for another few days. I kept thinking "Come on! What's the deal? Where's this nonsense coming from?" After all if we bombed the moon wouldn't I have heard about it before it happened? It's not like the moon randomly decided to attack us and we had to fight back in self-defense. A preplanned bombing would make the news.
And it did. But apparently I was under a rock somewhere. Which I still find highly odd. I mean I'm constantly hooked to my computer. And while I, myself, am not a news junkie however, my father and his constant CNN and MSNBC hoping is. So it still confounds me how i missed out on all of this. Oh well. Nothing can be done about my lack of ignorance now.
It's a month later and the rave about our fair moon is that it has water. Apparently A LOT more than previously believed. So what does that mean? It means the doors are opening wide for future moon exploration and possible inhabitation. Currently NASA is discussing the possibilities of a space station on the moon. This sounds wonderful! You remember being a kid in science class. Back when everything seemed possible because you didn't understand anything. And living on the moon just seemed like a given. Well, it may end up happening after all and fulfill all our inner child's dream of bouncing on the moon.
Hear's the thing...i'm kinda cynical. I prefer "realist" but more people prefer cynic so we'll go with that. Let me start of by explaining what I know of life in the most basic form. To live you need four things. Oxygen, Food, Sunlight, and WATER. (I know for some the whole sunlight thing can be disputed but in general it is a necessity...just go with it, k?) Here on Earth the oxygen and sunlight parts we get on a pretty regular basis, day in day out no effort, they are just there for the taking. The food part we have to put some effort into but can still manage. The water on the other hand is either there or it's not. You can divert it or clean it if you find it. But you still need a starting point. LIfe revolves around water. Don't believe me, look at the water cooler in your office and watch people hang out like antelopes in the Serengeti (they even poke up their heads to keep a look out for the boss/lion) Towns, hamlets, major cities, and huts have always been centrally located near water. That's why people usually live near the Nile and not out in the desert around it.
What I am saying is that water being found does make it more possible to eventually live on the moon. We know how to reproduce food, sunlight, and oxygen. Water, as far as I know, can't be created though. But if it's already there? Well we better start packing up.
This is where i get cynical. Humans in my observation have a tendency to act like a plague. We find something take it over, control, and then ruin it. completely destroy it. THEN, we just move on. Leaving it behind to continue to rot. I now have to wonder if this is the fate of the Earth. Are we going to end up jumping ship one day and head on to new wilderness? Or will only the "well to do" be on that spaceship leaving the "not so well to do" behind to clean up their messes? Will the Earth become nothing more than a spherical slum? The dumping ground of our solar system?
I know i'm kinda blowing things out of proportion some. And these worries are long-term in nature. But i really don't trust the human race to do the right thing in the end. We have always been more concerned with immediate gratification than worrying about the long-term consequences.

Another Goodbye...

2009-11-11T18:14:00.000-08:00

The D left again today. I hate when we have such a short visit after a long one, they seem even shorter then need be. I had a good time with my though. We went to see The Men Who Stare at Goats and Cirque de Freak: The Vampires Assistant. They were both very good movies. The later was much better than I had expected and will probably be getting me hooked on yet another novel series.

I'm in an upheaval on here. I broke down and bought a .com address. so my new address is actually miss2missus.com. YAY. I have a home. However, there is a lot to make over. For the time being the address is just reverting to this blogspot address. While here on blogspot I'm just trying to get it somewhat presentable.

When I get my new page going it will be much better. But I need to sit down and do some planning to start off with.

In the meantime just sit back and enjoy my ramblings here.

I saved 20 dollars in coupons the other while grocery shopping. Becoming a couponista is taking priority right now. I'm following a bunch of great women and learning from them the best i can. I know to a point I'm getting a bit annoying. esp when the most common phrase i have anymore is "i have a coupon for that!" But it's what we need to do. In fact God was nice enough to answer a prayer for the D and I. He's given us an apartment. At first I've done nothing but complain. It's on the tiny side and I have ALOT of stuff. But the more i think about it the more i feel that this is where God wants us. I know for me in particular I need to learn to downsize. To stop hording and such. And with limited space it will be a necessity. Which i deal better when things are a must instead of an option. And once out of my system I'll be ever more grateful for my first home with my husband.

Now, to just make it to the wedding, moving, and transferring. :D

NEW ADDY

2009-11-01T13:19:00.000-08:00

Kinda anyways. I switched to miss2miss.blogspot.com from apple-and-eve.blogspot.com

Kinda got tired with the whole fruit drink in search thing coming up cause of the name. Plus this name seems to be a better fit to me. After all the main purpose of this blog is to document my progress from a lazy single lady with little to no domestic skills to that of a productive wife with a full arsenal of homemaking abilities.

On the same note, im going to be taking some time to reorganize the site set up some. Though it will take a great bit of time I do promis to start posting regularly again. I actually have a few ideas i need to sift out.

Dear Blog....

2009-09-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,

I have not forgotten you! Please for not even one moment think that. It breaks my heart to know that you feel so secondary in my life. Alas, it's true :( I have had to push you to the back burner. Please forgive me? I meant no harm. My life, it has been hectic. I have so much in which i plan to tell you. Please just give me patience. I shall deliver. I swear!

Sincerly Yours,]
Karen

Not Abandoned I Swear

2009-08-30T16:53:00.000-07:00

I have just had a lot going on. And yet at the same time absolutely nothing.

A friend of mine is going through a rough spot and she's leaning on me fr support. Problem is i don't know how much longer i can go before i break from the extra weight.

I've been reading like a fiend. In fact just finished the newest Jacqueline Carrey book this even. Read the whole series of Sookie Stackhouse.

My ever growing pile of to do projects is..well...growing. The newest addition is a Chinese puppet dragon i want to work on. First priority...finish apron for swap. Then monkey. Actually my TO DO list will have to be a post on it's own.

The Daniel came down for a week in a half. I quite enjoyed myself. It was pretty relaxing and I adore how I can be my stupid self around him. We didn't do much, money and weather and all. Though we did hit up a couple flea markets successfully leaving with four new foreign coins (yes i am that dork) and OVER TWO POUNDS of jelly bellys. We saw many many a movie. Inglorious Bastards (good), Repo Opera (loved) the orphan (better than you would have thought) and district 9 (good but too sad to be real found of) I wanted to see PONYO. But some how it wasn't playing here. Saw the baby buffalo ^_^

He had is pysch eval for the pd. At this point all that can be done is prayer. I'm confident that he's sane and did well. But I'm worried because he's worried. Well that and because i know i wouldn't pass it ( i over think)

We kinda have the church for the wedding. We were given permission to use it one the date we want. Which is great cause i was worried about being denied wanting a Sunday service. However, there is one issue and that issue makes it the "kinda have it" They don't know if the missionaries will be gone by then. And at this point we aren't sure when we will find out since they haven't planed out their calender for net year and don't know themselves when the missionaries will be leaving. So like i said we kinda have the church.

thats it for now. nice and short

A Visit from my Maid of Honor

2009-07-23T15:37:00.000-07:00

I haven't been writing much lately and it's kinda bumming me out. I enjoy writing in here just haven't found the time.

A couple of weeks ago my friend/maid of honor came down. It was great seeing her. I hadn't seen her since she moved home last summer. We did bit of goofing off nothing too outragous. Went bridesmaid dress shopping. Which was fun and so much easier than i thought it would be. We only went to two stores and the first was horrible. It looked more like a bridal thrift store than anything else. But my dear Jenna humored me and tried on a couple dresses so we could get an idea or two on styles and color.

Then off to the second store. We drove out to the historic part of Conway. There really aren't many places in the area. We went into this one little boutiq and the people were so nice and helpful without being overly pushy. I hate to say it but i had a very deffinet idea of what i wanted in a dress...more specfically the color. I wanted a burnt orange, a shiny burnt orange. I know it sounds horrible but it really is nice. She tried on a couple there for me and we essentially have it narrowed to two dresses. Both by the same designer and same fabric.

Whew that was it!?! Just like that we pretty much found the dresses. I still want to run it by the other girls but it's pretty much done on that front. Now for my dress. THAT one i highly doubt will be resolved to easily. But i won't start to look until fall or so of this year.

So after we left the shop we were starving. There was a little cafe a block away so we figured we would stop in there. And i liked it. A lot. It was so plain and simple. You order a turkey sandwich and ou get turkey on bread. They had homemade potato chips and an awesome lemon pie. Wonderful for how simple it was. (that's the jenna at the cafe in the picture above)

So the rest of the visit was spent eating and shopping...i gained six pounds :( but i had a wonderful time. We went to the zoo and the bookstore more than once. On her second to last day we got fried crispy at the beach then played put put in true tourist fashion.

2009-07-04T19:23:00.000-07:00

Today sucked. In so many ways it sucked. it seems i got three weeks worth of moodiness and anger coming out of me today. Not to mention working in retail on a holiday is horrible. Everyone is mean. Had a woman cut me off and almost kill me and acted like it was my fault all cause she was impatient. It was a bad day. I really don't want to go into too much detail cause it will just bring up more anger instead of me calming down. Had one good thing happen though.

it was my last night at my second job. Which is great because it has been screwing with my schedule. I end up eating dinner really late and eat more than i intend to. Then go to sleep too late and it messes me up for days. I was sad to leave a few people behind there. I've had that job for three years. But others I'm not upset about. And i can finally get back on track again. They kinda made it easier to leave though. They didn't really have any plans for wishing me a fond farewell. I know part of that is because some kept hoping i wouldn't leave and part because I seem to be easy to forget about things like that for some reason. I think people think i don't like that stuff. A couple people ended up giving me a gift card which was nice since i spent way too much on my last night taking a final advantage of my discount. Though a frame i bought might have to be returned.

HAPPY FORTH!!!! A little tea and read before bed.

My Jenna is coming and I'm excited about. We will probably be going bridesmaid dress window shopping while she is here.

Rollercoasters

2009-07-01T12:51:00.000-07:00

That's how i feel today. Past couple days actually.
I felt great yesterday. Did well one my eating. Had a good workout. But the down side was in not taking the prilosec i had some trouble breathing. That made the workout a bit difficult. So for now what I am doing is trying it every other day or so. The thing most people don't understand is that i've been having problems breathing for years. It's how i was diagnosed with sarcoidosis to begin with. After all that and i stil had problems they thought maybe asthma. But none of my doctors agree on that. Then it might be anxiety. But that's only some of the time. Maybe i'm just uptight and don't know how to breath....that was a serious option too. Not it seems it maybe acid reflux. Which when i take the medcine i can breath so it seems like a good possiblity. But insurance issues and such I'm taking an over the counter med. One that the side effects don't seem to good on. Including weight gain. And i went through that before, albiet more serously, but that was enough for me. I'm trying to lose weight gaining more is not good. That's all on that. I'm leaving it alone.
Then comes this morning. I woke up and felt great. I think in part because of the great workout and eating from the previous couple of days. I go to get dressed for work....an BAM. I can't move. I'm doubled over. My stomach is killing me. It's not my muscles, it's not a normal tummy ache. It feels more like i'm going into labor. Atleast that's what i think. I've never given brith to a baby and i'm not pregnant. But i so cant move. I try to lay down and it hurts. I try to stand it hurts. I'm seriously locked into this postion. I don't get it. After twenty minutes or so I finaly call work and tell them there is no way I'm coming in. I feel horrible about it but hell i can't even get dressed. So with a lot breathing through it and the heating pad i lay down and go back to sleep. I wakee up several hours later and i feel like someone has kicked me. It's the remanant of pain more than pain itself.
All i can think about is feeling crappy from not working. From not working out. And for losing a day all around. My friend is coming down and i need to clean like a freak, she's allergic to kittys. Now i only have tomorrow to do it since i have to work the next two nights.
Yeah that was my day.

Oh and it's my brother's brithday. Need to write him.

Keep on Keepin' On

2009-06-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

I am down 10 lbs! Five weeks to do it.

I know it's not much but it is a start. And it's 10 pounds gone not gained so that's excellent.

I started using my wii fit a little over a month ago. Shortly after that i found sparkpeople.com

It's an incredible site! I love it! It's not a site just for losing weight. There are people there training for marathons, bodybuilders, so many types. It's i site that is there to teach you life style changes. The supposrt and motivation is amazing. I can only hope to feel this way in a year.

I've exercised almost daily for the past month. I feel so many changes. I started doing yoga outside of the wii. I stand straighter and walk taller. I'm generlly happier and a bit perky at times. I'm almost a morning person.

I hope to keep it up and get down to pre steriod weight before the wedding. I"m not losing weight just for the wedding, but it is a motivater. My fiance has been a huge support for me. Hearing him say he's proud of me is one of the best feelings in the world.

Weekend Words

2009-05-30T14:03:00.000-07:00

So i got back in town on Thrusday. My trip was pretty wonderful exluding the rain. I took a lot of pictures. Really this is just a brief update to say im not dead. I will upload pictures and write more tomorrow. Right now i actually have to get to work. BOO.

Too Anxious

2009-05-23T20:29:00.000-07:00

It may not be christmas time but i feel like im 6 again not wanting to go to sleep cause i want to see santa. im leaving in the morning to go visit my fiance who i haven't seen in over a month. i'm so excited and slightly nervous about the drive. i cat wait to run up and hug him.

also, this evening i recieved a text from my old best friend. we parted ways many years ago, but i still miss her terribly. we texted back and forth for an hour or so just catching up. i wonder sometimes what it would be like if we were friends again, if we could be. when we stopped being friends i lost a sister not a friend.

so right now im confused and happy and anxious and ready to go but need to sleep.

A Day Late

2009-05-18T17:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was important. It was my eight month mark of not smoking...that's a three forths of a year!!!!!

In addition to that, it was also exactly 17 months before Daniel and i get married.

I actually do have a good bit i would like to write at the moment. But im inda tired and have been cranky and angry....translation: i get lazy.

Cap'n Crunch

2009-05-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

Wow we are half way through May already.

how come cereal doesn't come with toys anymore?

A Sunday Update

2009-05-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

Hmm what to say. It's Sunday evening, I'm off tomorrow so that's nice. Actually that's probbly a really good thing. It's 9:30 at night and i'm wide awake. Not just awake but jittery. We got a wii fit and i love it. I did 96 minutes on it today already. I know its not like a real excerise program but considering everything i've gone through and the point its brought me at i think this is a good starting point. I do love the yoga on there though. The way its setup its actually training you to do it properly.

I asked another friend to be in the wedding. She said yes. But i knew she would. We just made it offical.

I learned from a really nice woman how to correct the problem i was having crocheting my thumb on my doll.

I've meet a bunch of awesome ladies on a forum online.

My plants are thriving so far!!!. The carrots are at a standstill, but they aren't dying anymore. The watermelons are good and growing, however i'm a bit concerned because it rained and all the run off from the roof landed in it and it hasnt seemed to dry out yet.
MY PEAS!!!! they are growing like wild fire. I'm going to have to thin them soon. They are starting to vine. Instructions said they dont need a trellis since they are only supposed to be 12-24 in but we will see. Sadly all my poor lettuce seems to be lost.

A hawk died in my store after several days of watching me.

Our dog might have to be put down soon. He's not doing well at all :(

I'm going to see my fiance at the end of the month, need to get my brakes done before them they wont stop maing noises. Need to find the money to do so.

New allergist suggested vocal spasms instead of asthma. Hopeful. Bloodwork not so good.

Fiance seems to be doing well with his process. A big thank you to all you wonderful woman who have been prayig for both him and myself.

That seems to be it this week. Happy Mutter's Day!!! MUAH

First Week

2009-05-03T12:40:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post some pictures of the first week in my garden.

these are my sugar baby watermelons. i was starting to think that they weren't going to sprout, i saw my peas and lettuce coming up but my watermelons and carrots weren't doing anything. then yesterday morning i went out to water and there they were. popping up left and right.

and my peas. which have been coming up since wed.

i'm so excited!!! i know it's still too early and that they could all die out last minute. But right now every day is like christmas.

Fingers crossed!!

2009-04-30T16:17:00.000-07:00

I HAVE SPROUTS!!!!.

i took a couple of pictures, but honestly, it's kinda pointless to post them. They didn't turn out that well. they are very tiny sprouts.

one window box of lettuce has several tiny sprouts (unless bird seed got in there then i have no idea what it is)
the other non. so i moved it next the growing one.

my peas have germinated and are poking a bit.

no sign on the watermelons or carrots.

I'm uber excited. I know i shouldn't get my hopes up its waaaayyy too early.

Fail!

2009-04-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

I made olive oil dough last night to make pizza. The dough turned out good. The backing of the pizza dough however, not so much. It wasn't fully done. Even after putting it back in the oven for another 15 minutes.

Today, my tummy hurts a bit.
I have a wicked head-ache and am going through an asthma attack i can't get rid of :(

This is going to be interesting

2009-04-27T20:38:00.000-07:00

It's the end of the evening and I'm ready to collapse. Or at least get a good foot rub. To be honest i had forgotten how physical working in the yard can be, and in the gentlest way, let's just say i am anything but physically fit.So, i got offline earlier and headed down to the garden center. got three bags of 2 cubic foot gardening soil for veggies and plants. I wanted to get the "organic soil" but a) i don't know if it really is organic and b) i got twice as much for the price spent. Considering this is my first true effort, i went with the cheaper choice. Also, the difference between garden soil and potting soil for any who wants to know. Potting soil has those little fuzz balls in them that help to retain moister a bit longer since containers dry out faster than ground dirt. So you can pay twice as much for half the bag size, or just make sure to keep your containers well watered. Which ever is easier for you

.Once i got home i lugged the bags around to the back of the house and pulled out several containers to use. I also grabbed a couple of seed starting trays i had along with peat pellets.

*I want to take a moment to explain something here. This attempt of mine is not in anyway the "proper" way to go about gardening. A veggie garden should really be well planned. If you plan on out for several season you can yield wonderful crops. Also, proper seed starting should have been done months ago, esp down here in the south. I am kinda going trial and error here, but in no way am i dependent on the success of these crops, so it's OK.*

Alright with that out of the way lets continue. So i soaked a couple of peat pellets to get them to expand. Like i said i know it's too late to really be starting seedlings, or this whole process really, but I'm still trying. So then i moved on to the pots. I filled each pot with as much dirt as possible. I made sure to crumple up any chunks. Hint: hard soil and rocks are what stunt and deform carrots. you want soil that isn't too compacted so they can easily grow their taproots and you can get larger straighter carrots.I started by sowing in my peas. I made a little spiral in the dirt just so i could keep track of spacing. Placed my seeds as directed (minus the whole not being in a row in the ground). And then took one of tools and made little holes in the dirt right behind them. This worked wonderful because the hole was just the right size and when my garden fork came out the pea just popped right in. All i had to do was cover it. Then I started on the other pots. By the time i had them all filled with dirt and seeded my peat pellets were expanded. So i took a few out and put them in the tray and put a couple seeds in.Then I placed the containers were i know they will get full sun, which means at least six hours a day. Then watered them really well.

Now I just have to wait and see what happens. I'll keep an eye on the pellets and see if anything comes of them.Since this is all really new to me there will be times I'm wrong and i encourage you to correct me, in the nicest way possible of course. What i would like to do though is that since i am new i have a bunch of questions that are stupid and second natures to some and just as obtuse to others as to me. I would like to be the robin hood of garden know how. Whatever valuable info i come across I will gladly post so it can be shared.All and all it was a wonderful day. I spent several hours out doors in the sun and got really dirty. I felt healthy and happy for doing something productive as well as good for me. I hope i can stick with it. So enjoy and wish me luck.

Monday and I'm Off

2009-04-27T08:26:00.000-07:00

Slept a bit later than i had anticipated but that's OK. One of my friends is supposed to be in town but she "over slept" too so i may or may not see her. Kinda bummed about it, kinda new there was a chance though.

So instead i will be heading down to my storage unit, paying the bill then grabbing some of my pots out of it. I can't control it any more. I must plant something. Granted this is in no way a guarantee that i will grow anything, but i must at least try. Unfortunately, this means i have to go into work to get my seeds and dirt. Something i would have rather done yesterday when i was there.

But i'm going to try to grow some stuff, if only three or four things. I'm new at this really. So that's more than enough. But judging on how many views came yesterday at just the mention of gardening i realize there are probably many people out there just starting out too. So you can watch me and my deadly plant mistakes and I'll pass on any info i garner.

Let's grow something !!!(just not weeds)

How I love dirt

2009-04-26T17:35:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since i've even attempted my hand at a veggie garden. But the last few years i've been getting a bad itch to do so. I want to mark off a few beds, till my soil, get it nice and dark, and transplant tiny little buds that i started from seedlings.

Unfortunately, I don't have the land to do so. I'm going to try a few container planets if possible. But i don't have my own place so it's really not up to me.

Today I got a little book from work, more like a promotional booklet for Miracle Grow, but it's on veggies and the basics of growing thirty types of them. So during down time while i wait for managers i flip through it and what do i find? the cutest picture ever!!!! i can't find one to show and it wouldn't copy well, but it was basically a picture of carrots in the soil ever so slightly peeking out. I found out that the part peeking out is called the shoulder and that you don't pull the veggie until its showing. Kinda like a done button on a turkey.

There is something so wonderful about getting your hands dirty and playing around and getting something good out of it. Maybe next year i can start a few plants.

HOT DAMN

2009-04-22T17:46:00.000-07:00

So i finally found a page that explained how to and tabs in the simplest terms so that i was able to do it. Currently I only have three and they arent the permanent categories just tester for now. For some reason the song "Weird Science" has been triumphantly going through my head. bwahahahahaha

thanks so much for the info found on http://tips-for-new-bloggers.blogspot.com/search/label/NavBar sorry i dont know how to do text links yet. you may have to copy and paste. so helpful though

And it begins

2009-04-22T16:22:00.000-07:00

I am happy to announce that Daniel and I have set a date. October 17th 2010.
We had initial set it for October 25th this year. But for several reason (finances, moving, jobs, and planning those such things) we decided to push it back till next year.

I am going to try to take some time off at the end of May so I can go out to Asheville and him and I can go to the church and make it our official date. Then we can start planning.

I'm so excited...it feels more real now.

I had asked a friend of mine who had moved up north last year if she would be my maid of honor. I was a bit worried she wouldn't be able to what with money and traveling. I know my guests will be from out of state and its going to make it harder on some. So i knew there was a chance she would have to say no. To my surprise I came home today to a package on the door step. A book shaped package! one of the best kinds. Then i thought about it "i havent ordered a book, wait did i?" "no" "crap maybe i forgot to tell the book club no for the feature" "just open it" (that was my inner monologue..err conversation)

so i open. and its a beautiful yellowish and orange package. I open the card and it reads "DUH, I'll be your maid of honor" It put such a smile on my face. Im still giddy. I'm not a scrapbooker really, but this is a keeper. I have to atleast do a book for the wedding. Inside was "the anit-bride wedding planner"

Only shame is i cant get a hold of her on the phone to thank her and be giddy. Stupid cell phones.

Its weird how when we were planning for the wedding in six months i wasnt really in plan mood. I know part of that is that i dont want to end up being "THAT" bride, and I dont want to get pushy about things with Daniel.

Note to Daniel, if i get pushy i sorry.

But now with 18 months ahead of us im ready!!!!

Pardon the interruption

2009-04-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

So i am trying to find a blog layout i like and until i find one to settle on its gonna get ugly around here. i wish i was more tech savy and could make my own.

Monsters Vs. Aliens

2009-04-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

Daniel is down again for a couple of days. Never long enough. However, we have set a date, Oct 25th. Of course we need to confirm it with the church before its official.

Yesterday we were going to get up early and go down to the beach and watch the sun rise. It didnt happen. i was too tired, but as it turned out it was over casted anyways. So we went shopping bumming around and such. Had some really yummy mexican food. mm nom. Then we went to the bookstore and the movies. It was one of those rare occasions where i didnt buy anything at the bookstore.

But Monsters vs aliens was an excellent movie!! its one of those ones i knew i wouldnt not like. but i really didnt think i would love it the way i did. i found myself laughing loudly several times. the type of 3-d glasses were not our favorite, they left daniel with a headache. but it was still good. of course it was een better cause it was free. we had gone to see sunshine cleaners but it wasnt showing on the board. so we asked the ticket guy about it and he said they were having problems with it but that we could see something else for free. which he totally didnt have to tell us and it was so nice. but i guess they had had some people throwing fits at some point.

but today we are off to a super secret place. im thinking he will love it, but its somewhere ive never been so i cant be sure. fingers crossed.

Mid-day Bitch

2009-04-05T10:47:00.000-07:00

I want my computer back to functioning. I'm ready to wipe it clean and start again cause god only knows i cant afford a new one. I have a bunch of pictures i want to upload and can't right now. Grr. I have birds and flowers and projects to upload.

The First Month

2009-04-05T07:59:00.000-07:00

As of yesterday Daniel and I have now been engaged for a month. At this point we don't have a date set but are aiming for around October. Somehow i had gotten Oct 11th stuck in my head as the intended date, but nope. So we are still up in the air. I want the reception to be outdoors. So we don't want it too cold or too warm, and October is a hard month to figure out. Hopefully, when he comes next week we can get a date semi set.

But, the first month of our engagement has been pretty good, despite some personal issues. Every time I look at my ring I am reminded of how much he loves me, how much i miss him and can't wait to see him again. How much i cant wait for our lives to start together. I mean, yeah, don't get me wrong its pretty, but its so much more than that. I forgot to put it on one morning (i usually take it off at night since i scratched my face one evening) and i felt lost all day.

I know that we have a lot of challenges ahead of us. Planning a wedding and moving and jobs and such will be stressful over the next few months. As will adjusting to being married. But its something that i really look forward to. Cause for every challenge there is also a reward, and there is also a joy to counteract it. its like a two for one.

End of March

2009-03-30T18:54:00.000-07:00

Another month of the new year is down. And in some aspects it's been the best i could ask for, in others not so much. The month definitely started out on a nice high note, excluding the flu thingy. And it stayed pretty level for the most part for the rest. But now it's tapering off into moody-ville.

I know alot of it has to do with moving, and jobs, and the prospect of beginning to plan a wedding. and a dash of this and that in there too. things that i would love to vent about right now, but things I'm not much in a position to at the moment. all i can do is wait it out, cross my fingers, and pray. everything will turn out OK. its just letting myself relax until then. i had read in a book the other day that it was suggested to the main character to start doing drugs to stop being uptight. its a thought. haha. jk.

in general though i wouldn't say much has happened. Ive become such a recluse. but Ive learned that i have some issues i need to deal with. so perhaps my reclusiveness will be helpful.

I'm terribly much in the mood for writing so ill leave this short.

i did however crochet a ball this evening. yay me. i was just practicing. its been a while since Ive crocheted. now our new cat has his very own homemade ball to play with. (the new cat adopted us recently and he is the most affectionate animal ever and has been through a thousand names until we settled on Sammy)

so that's it. otherwise it will be complete non-sense soon.

Sharing Time

2009-03-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to move. I am drowning in crap. Crap to the left of me...crap to the right of me....and here i am...stuck in the middle. I am by either nature or nurture a pack rat. and i can't wait to move so that i can throw out unneeded things (with the help of the fiance) and organize from the ground up. Unfortunitly, a move date is not set. still looking for a job or hoping for a transfer.

but in the mean time i'm trying to do a little bit of craftiness when i can. kinda hard considering the clutter. but i will be making my apron with in the next week. and from there we will see. i'm going to have to start getting rid of some stuff on ebay soon. just odds and ends passed around books and such. maybe some of my scrapbooking things.

but first i wanted to share a link for anyone looking for quilting fabric. First, i have to say i have yet to order from them as i'm broke right now(i need new tennis shoes B-A-D). so i can't vouch for quality, but i can vouch for price and selection. so go have a look.

http://www.connectingthreads.com/

there's also a coupon for 5.96 in a few quilting and sewing magazines. which is like getting a yard free.

Life Lesson and Spring

2009-03-21T11:44:00.000-07:00

In the past I've always been somewhat impartial to spring. It was my second favorite season, but more by default than anything. I hate summer. Winter has its moments of calm. Autumn just effing rocks. But this year spring seems to be pushing ahead in the race.

I was explain to my fiance a couple of months ago how much i was looking forward to spring. how life just seems so open right now and how i am genuinely happy for the first time in a very long time. I can't explain it really, my emotions and feelings towards life, other than to say it is similar to the way nature views spring. My fiance summed it up and explained that I'm "in the spring of my life". That i have hit that new beginning stage.

and inside I'm all rainbows and butterflies and fresh green grass between your toes.

however, recently things have been rough. i guess it the frost of my life. a bunch of stress and "how's" and "whatifs" and such. and I'm not the only one dealing with the crappiness of life at the moment. it gets overwhelming and hard to keep any focus on anything positive.

so the other day i picked up another book. probably one of about five i am reading at the moment. I'm reading Grace (Eventually) by Anne Lamont. I'm no where near finished with it. but the first or second chapter really hit a note in me. the kind that turns light bulbs on and re- centers your world. She's talked about how it's not faith in God that is hard to come by but the waiting on God that is the killer. And its true. We want a vending machine answer to out prayers. Please press G6 for a new car, A3 for happiness. ploop boom there you go.

That's not what got to me though. It was when she was talking about the ability to let go. We think of letting go in only of terms of people and habits that are bad for us. But the things that our bad for us run deeper than that. She had used the visual with young kids to demonstrate her point.... she held two markers, one in each hand and asked the kids that if she wanted to get something to drink what she would have to do. Well, she would have to put them down...let go of them. Because if you keep holding on to something you aren't even allowing yourself the place or ability to grab onto something new. and i have realized with with my negative stressful attitude. granted i can't really control anxiety attacks and i can't immediately change my way of thinking i have at least finally understood that things won't get better if i keep gripping on to these negatives in my life, my worries, like the jaws of life. and yeah when i finally uncurl my fingers from their grips and loosen out the cramps and knots in the muscle there will be a time when i won't be holding on to anything. and that's when i need to learn to deal with the waiting. because as long as i learn to wait and not fall back into the habit of holding on to things then i am giving myself the opportunity.

so the lesson of the story is that you can only hold on for so long, afterwards give to God and let him deal with it and have patience

Trip Part 2

2009-03-17T16:18:00.000-07:00

So before I can go any farther i feel like I need to finish the trip. The rest of the trip was nice. again didnt get to do nearly everything we wanted to.

So, we drove in to Maryland and stoped by my brother's house. my sister in law was home with my newest nephew who i had yet to meet at that point. daniel and i hung around and talked for a bit then m brother came home. made plans to have dinner with them and the kids on friday.

starving at this point we drove over to Ikea. Daniel had never been to one and where we both live right now the closest is in Atlanta. So before we stroled around we grabbed some of the best swedish meatballs ever. he loved them too. i knew he would.

then we started to wander...but oh noes, apparently i still wasn't feeling too well and me and my tummy weren't getting along. so in the end we didn't get to see it the way you are supposed to...you know spending five hours walking around and such.

visited one of my oldest friends, Nancy, one i have known since i was 12. her daughter is a nut. did a bit of shopping then we went up to my friend's house that we were staying at and pretty much crashed for the night. the next day we did alot of driving around seeing what had changed and showing off my schools and such. went and had a little semi picnic at fox hill pond staring at the bridge and water. walking back to the car i lost my shoe to a muddy little sucking. i though it was funny. we drove some mores and then had dinner with my brother and his family talking with the kids. it was nice.

and then we went back and hung out around a fire pit with my friend, Kelly, and her husband and a couple drinks. it was a good way to end the evening. every free moment we were playing with Kelly's baby, a beautiful little girl just under a year. between my niece and nephews and my friend's kids this was the first time i saw daniel with kids. and i have to say i'm pretty happy he's going to be fathering kids with me one day.

so thats our trip. my first one with my love. and the best i could have asked for minus the sick. not much to it but it was fun. i really feel like we need a month off to do everything up there we want to. i don't think i could ever live in Maryland again, but it was my home for more than have my life so far and i have alot of roots there.

Happies (trip part one)

2009-03-17T09:14:00.000-07:00

So I meant to do this update a couple of weeks ago but between being sick and letting it all sink in i haven't had the chance.

Daniel and I went up to DC for his birthday March 3rd. We left later than had planned due to me being sick. But he was wonderful and drove most of the 8 hour trip giving me time to rest a bit more. plus I'm horrible to deal with when sick. We made it in DC around 730 or so. Then my brother and his girlfriend took us to dinner, grabbed a pizza at one of those over priced yuppish places. but it was damn good so it was worth it. The next day we woke up and left the house around 11ish to do a bit of sight-seeing with intentions to make it the Jefferson memorial. we got lunch in a cafeteria, found the metro and hopped on. when we got off at L'Efante Plaza we headed for the escalators and i froze. i had forgotten how tall the escalators are in DC and being that I'm deathly afraid of going up them, and haven't had to force myself in sometime (this part of the south doesn't really have second storeys to be in need of them) i freaked. i froze and immediately went into a panic. and this is why i love Daniel. he didn't give me crap. he said we could look for an elevator, which metro elevators are tiny and stinky. we then emerged to the surface again and i calmed.

we found out the Jefferson was farther than planned and with me still being the recovering sicky decided to walk around the mall and go to a museum. we started off walking around the hershborn sculpture gallery. he went to sit down on a bench but i thought it better it go for the concrete wall since it was a cold and windy day ( i got to see snow for the first time in four years) so we sat and talked a bit. then he looked at me and asked if i wanted my gift. silly really since it was his birthday the next day and not mine, but I'm a girl I'm all for gifts...esp ones if been waiting days for cause I've been told its lurking around.

so i was told to close my eyes, and when i was allowed to open them there was Daniel on one knee with a beautiful engagement ring. he asked if i would marry him at which point i immediately started to cry and shake my head up and down unable to form a word. i was told later i said i will. we took some pictures and i cried some more.

afterwards, we went over the American history museum. which was fun. we got to see the flag that inspired the star spangled banner, Oscar the grouch, Kermit the frog, beautiful old cars, and Lincoln. then we kinda got kicked out. closing time. it was unfortunately the only museum we hit. next time we have to plan to be in dc longer and get up earlier and be less sick. but nothing will change how great that day was.

we started to head back to the metro. i called my parents and let them know. they already knew, Daniel had asked my dad for permission. ^_^ my mom asked me what i said. i told her i wasn't called to tell her i said no. then we hopped on the metro with everyone else heading home from work. the fun. made it back to my brother's place. him and his girlfriend took us to Wok and Roll in Chinatown to celebrate. pretty good food. my fortune cookie said "your newest venture will be a success"

so needless to say I've been running on a high for the past couple of weeks. constantly admiring my ring. getting use to saying fiance and not boyfriend. enjoying being upgraded. and marveling at the man who will be my husband. and trying to figure out how to be the best wife.

next part of the trip was maryland and family. but i'll save that for the next post.

Once was too much, twice is just down right unfair

2009-03-02T12:18:00.000-08:00

i'm getting over my second flu this year. i feel horrible cause i had to call out of my jobs for the weekend, the weekend before my boyfriend and i go to dc. which never looks good. however, i was forced to go to work sat morning, and left about an hour later covered in tears and on the verge of passing out. i had a fever of a 102 and my temp usually runs around 96.7 i was tired and delirious. needless to say it sucked. i barely even got on line. mostly i was just a lump. my fever broke sat night and i have started to progressively feel better.
we had to postpone our trip cause of my illness and the snow. but we will hopefully be leaving in the morning. i cant wait. i just feel horrible cause even now im still sick and wont be able to do as much as we had hoped for. i know we will have other chances with some many friends and family up there but this is the first time im going with him.

im mostly phlegm at this point, eww i know.

i'm uber excited still. i get to play tour guide and see how much has changed.

but i still feel like crap. packing right now seems way too overwhelming. actually taking a shower seems too overwhelming. needless to say im still sick. maybe sleeping in the car all day tomorrow will help.

well back to slowly making progress in the packing.

Technology and Death

2009-02-23T15:26:00.000-08:00

It's been and odd week. Right now, i'm pretty pissed. the printer i got for christmas that i have been trying to set up, needs it's own usb cord. that i don't have. i bought cd for the first time in several years.....now i can't find my usb for my ipod to sinc them for my trip. and i has no money. on top of the whole despretly needing sneakers that a bum wouldn't turn down before the trip too. uhg.

on a sad and odd note though, and old co-worker of mine died the other day. not old as in age, infact she was only a year or two older than me, still not yet thirty. but we worked together for a couple of years up until a couple years ago when she was fired. she was a nice girl, not the best employee, but a nice person. she was the first person to try to make me feel at hom here when i moved down south for the second time. its always sad when someone you know dies. never really know how to deal with it. but later that day i was going through my cell phone and saw that i still had her number in there. we weren't close. i wondered if i called the number what kinda of response would i get. would the line already be disconnected? it amazed me at out easly it was to just delete someone and they aren't there anymore. like i said we weren't close. i guess the longer you keep someone's number in your phone after they die the closer you were.

Sorry for the Absence

2009-02-18T17:01:00.000-08:00

its been pretty busy. my boyfriend was here for a couple of days. we celebrated my birthday, valentines, and our anniversary. did a bit of shopping. i adore him. he really is my best friend and absolutely wonderful. one of those tiny little things that really sits with you happened today...we were having lunch at our favorite japanese place and i was showing him scraps of paper with some work time doodles. and though it wasn't something i dwelled on durring conversation it meant alot, he told me i was good at that. it made me proud to have him like my stupid little doodles. i hate that he's driving home right now. i cant wait until we go up to DC in a couple of weeks. ^_^

we went to see Coraline. It was such a wonderful movie. my top director and one of my top writers together, very good. i can't wait to make a Coraline doll. of course i have several other things ahead of that as always. i really need to get some of those clips from Barnes and nobles, the ones labeled "soon" "whenever" etc.

crap i just remembered a job i wanted to apply for with a deadline of the 24th. not even really sure if its open to the public though.

anyways, i digress. bought a couple Cd's, the ting tings, she and him, the sounds of the smiths, combichrist and lily allen. i haven't bought Cd's in a long time. its fun playing with my itunes and genius. my CD player doesn't work in my car anymore so we are trying to get my ipod updated.

i got the new book Fool by Christopher Moore. so excited about that. but first i have to finish Driving with dead people. Moore's books deserve undivided attention.

so really that's all I've been up to. cleaning setting things up. day dreaming. letting my To Do list grow.

Honey Nuts

2009-02-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

I've been totally lazy. sleeping, reading, or playing video games. thats it. honeslty.

right now im reading Goat. it's turned out to be a good book. then christopher moore's new book Fool came out today. YAY so excited. Mary Called Magdalen, i'm not going to lie, i'm having problems getting through. it started out good and it just keeps slowing up. i've got maybe two hundred pages left.

so that's it for now. i'm tired. grabbing some cheerios and Goat

2009-02-07T20:20:00.000-08:00

feel like crap.....can't stop sleeping.

Almost Best Birthday Ever!

2009-02-05T17:05:00.000-08:00

I'm giddy like a school girl. despite my stomach feeling like a storm. i didn't really celebrate my birthday this year. but it was a good one. well actually work sucked. damn moody people. but then i came home and got some ok pictures of a tuffeted woodpecker. got in a nap. had nommy chinese food.....and i got my sewing machine!!! i can't wait till this weekend. i'm off and will be using it. heheheheheheheh. i so happy.

the only thing that would have been better is if my boyfriend was here.

Wednesday, Angry, Wednesday

2009-02-04T16:00:00.000-08:00

Today is my last day of being 27. Which is just as important as my birthday tomorrow. And I have spent the day just being angry, mean, and truly hateful. Frustration is a very mild term for what i feel. And i completely understand how those rare people you see in movies that are the "right" ones and everyone else is off can quickly become insane.

I'm not terribly fond of my job anymore. Scratch that, i haven't been for a long time. I would prefer to stay at home and clean and bake and mend and be crafty. But that's not a luxury i have. i have bills, massive medical bills turned credit card debit i have to take care. its overwhelming like much of my life. i digress, my job. its not the job so much i dislike, its the changes that have taken place over the last five years that have trickled down from CEO to corp to store. I don't deal with public, which is good in someways. people can be quite irritating when you have to see them for five minutes and they treat you like dirt on their shoe but yet don't know what they are saying. But office politics are less than desirable. Things are changing and not for the better. Managers think they can break policy for a reason. Which in situations like is hair ripping maddening. those polices were created by alto of people wasting company money to figure out the "best" way to deal with things. They are in place for a reason. as far as my job goes they aren't guidelines, they are law. stop being douches!!!!!! do what you are supposed to do. put your foot down and say no once in a while.

oh and you know what people? please stop putting address labels over your name and address on your checks. i know its easier that re-writing things. but if you must put it NEXT to the printed information. Cause when the dumb ass cashier takes it and it move on to people like me and the bank and so forth...we WILL be cursing you for your stupidity and can only hope you misplace your checks so someone else can slap their address and name on them and clean your account out.

please people, managers, corporations, society.... THE HUMAN RACE.....please stop being so stupid, selfish, and rude. take the time to think of the other person you are dealing with.

endth first rant.

yay my birthday's tomorrow ^_^

Night Before Work

2009-02-03T16:02:00.000-08:00

My two days off for the week are over. I've pretty much wasted all my time. i did get laundry done. and i tried to hook up the printer i got for christmas (OK, a little late on that i know) but no usb cord.
i can't help it. the Internet sucks me in! so many pretty, interesting things. i want to learn and it wants to teach. we just need more time together. ha. it steals my time as is.

i think the evening will be finished off with a nice hot bath, perhaps some impromptu pattern making. we will see.

i really need a new set of sheets for my bed.

not fun

2009-02-03T11:29:00.000-08:00

uhg, my computer is in the fritz and running slower than i am

OHH NOES

2009-02-02T15:25:00.000-08:00

I'm absolutly horrible!!! i just bought this glittery japanese mushroom fabric i've been fawning over now for a couple weeks and i really didn't have the money too. oh well. i love it. and it's my birthday to gift to myself. but that's it seriously, for some time. no more shopping. i have to pay off some bills.

Book Review

2009-02-02T15:16:00.000-08:00

I just finished going through Organic Housekeeping by Ellen Sandbeck. I have to recommend this book to anyone with domestic issues. I haven't tried out the cleaning suggestions yet, but they seem pretty basic. But the best part of the book is her humor and the chapter on decluttering your life. Which decluttering is something i really need to work. I'm at a point where i can't wait to move just so I can go through things better (i'm a procrastanator and function best on a deadline)

a Grey Day

2009-02-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

have you ever woken up with that dreadful feeling that you're running late and everything needs to be finished in the next five minutes, but you're not running late. infact it's my day off which means i can loaf around all i want. i mean i do have things i need to do. but none that are so pressing that i should be feeling this anxious about them.

I suffer from craft A.D.D.

2009-02-01T18:55:00.000-08:00

I love the internet and hate it with the exact same equal intensity.

It has opened such a world for me of projects to want to do. and that in and of it's self is horrible. between amigurumi, my paintings, current knitting/crocheting projects, my plushies, jewelry....seriously the list can go on....i can't seem to start anything. there are so many things i want to do that i get uber exicted about them all and never start any. grrrrrrrrrrrrr

my mission right now is to focus on my lamb (didn't see that on the previous to-do list, did ya?)

ironically enough, my craftest time of day seems to be between 8am and 12pm. which i am at work for. the ironic part...i'm not a morning person. if i'm off work the next day i can't go to bed at a decent time without literally forcing myself and feeling as though i'm gonna miss something etremly important. i'm a night owl. in turn the earlist i get up in the morning on a day off it 930 and even then im not actually functional until about 3 hours later. and by then my urges have past.

does anyone know how or where i might be able to find a pattern for a stuffed animal that is more rounded?

UPS AND DOWNS

2009-01-31T12:30:00.000-08:00

One day i feel better the next not so much.
i worked last night and while there found out that our hours will be changing from 9-9 during the week to 10-8. that's the way things are going now. a little over a month ago i had cut myself down to one day a week, and now I'm getting cut an hour. i don't think it's long until i get cut fully. wish we closed at 8 last night though.

i had to be at work a little earlier this morning due to the end of year crap. so now I'm exhausted.

apparently, i got my mom into baking. she'd trying to make dough with the bread machine. and i came home to her trying to cook crab rangoon. but she didn't get sweet and sour sauce. and they aren't too sweet themselves. ehh, first try.

quick update

2009-01-29T11:17:00.000-08:00

i feel infinitely better today, but still not good. i can think...somewhat. it just sucks cause i haven't done anything this week. unless you count restless, nightmare riddled sleeping.

i want to start a project, but i need to clean and plan a bit before i can. and in all honesty i know i need at least two more days to fully recover unless i want to end up with the yuck again.

it just amazes me how many people are ending up sick. and not just in my immediate area.

orange juice and chicken broth have been my friends. i need some sleep.

I've got the YUCK

2009-01-27T15:31:00.000-08:00

so i woke up yesterday morning with my tooth hurting. my thoughts, great, i can't afford this right now. but i realized i needed to go to the dentist for my 6 months anyway. i call and make an appointment for today. sadly, i haven't been to the dentist in over a year. i had an appointment for this time last year, and had to cancel due to be sick and just never rescheduled. shortly after making my appointment yesterday my throat starts to get a bit scratchy. i keep trying to ignore it, pretending I'm OK. day goes on it gets a bit worse. nah, I'm fine i say to myself.

I'm not fine! i woke up this morning and feel like crap. i had to cancel my appointment and will have to reschedule when i feel better. i actually, love going to the dentist too. i always get so upset about not being able to go. then i think about the fact that my birthday is next week and it seems like I'm always sick for it, at least since i was twelve.

so i slept yesterday evening. i left work early today and slept away the afternoon thanks to some medication. i feel like a zombie. ambling about with minimum control over my limbs randomly bumping into things. my heads stuffed up with so much mucus and such there is no room in there for anything else. not a single solitary thought.

i feel like crap.

PHOTOS ARE FUN

2009-01-25T16:45:00.000-08:00

I thought i would put up a couple of photos from my weekend. nothing to exciting.

first my beautiful new PINK stone mixing bowl!!! it's love.

then my new cereal bowl....i really do have a problem with buy one or two pieces of dinnerware at a time. i think enough mis-matched things it won't matter anymore

lastly, here are some animals, cause they are cute and everyone loves animals.

there were a whole bunch of red winged black birds, i caught this one seed in mouth

when i went outside to try to take more picture the cat snuck out. which he's usually afraid of being outside, but he's been a little funny since he started to lose weight. (how bad is it when a cat is weight loss inspiration?)

and this cute little guy is a fox squirrel.

F*CK

2009-01-25T12:56:00.000-08:00

despite just writing a nice heartfelt, destressing, free writing post and having it saved....it's gone. all cause of my effed up computer connection. i'll try again later i'm too pissed to try now.

Surrounded by cute

2009-01-25T10:14:00.000-08:00

I really need to get off my ass and do laundry and clean a little. but i keep getting distracted by ETSY!!!!!!

i have found these adorable fabrics...and i want them all. totaly not happening, but i want to get one of the glittery mushrooms or alice in wonderland japanese fabrics. they are cute cute cute.

lunch, laundry, trash pick. then i'll come back

Yawn..

2009-01-24T22:26:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty happy right now, changing the background, it's nice. thanks to the makers, please go there and see them they are wonderful.

i have alot i want to say right now. however, some things i'm a bit hesitant about and it's 1:30 in the morning, so it's probably not my best interest to trust my judgement right now.

my boyfriend and i are heading up to the dc area in march. i'm super excited about it. we are going up for his birthday day and we both want to do the whole tourist thing. but in addition to that there's so much i want to show him. i grew up in maryland, lived there for over twenty years so there is soooo much to share. we are going to be exhuasted by the time we come home. i wish we could go up for a month.

sometimes i get really homesick for that area. i'm not happy in the city i live in, and i'm excited about the city i'm moving to. but nothing will ever take the place of my homestate. with that said though, there's no way i would want to live there for an extendant period ever again. it's been just over four years since i last lived there, and i know alot has changed. and when you are away from some place that has changed it's harder to deal with it. plus i'm homesick for the people. for the lack of responsiblty. last time i lived there i was much younger and at a much different stage of my life than i am now. but we all seem to romantize the past. sometimes i look at my homesickness for that place and time of my life in the same light as craving for cigarettes. we tend to gloss over the bad. but now i want to share all those fond memories i had at one point there with my boyfriend.

i'll put up some pictures tomorrow. just random stuff

YUCK

2009-01-24T16:38:00.000-08:00

i just took some fish oil pills and now i taste fish, this isn't the first time either. i'm gonna look up the cost of nordic naturals, ive always heard they are good.

Down Down

2009-01-23T21:25:00.000-08:00

uhg uhg uhg. i feel like crap. ive been on the verge of an asthma attack for the last two days, and keep getting these stabbing headaches. i had one for four days. and now i just get the short ones that feel kinda numb afterwards. im chalking it all up to stress right now.

ive really started to love blogger and flipping through all the peoples pages. esp the foods. mm mmm

Scary Story

2009-01-22T19:28:00.000-08:00

Ah ok so i finished Promise Not to Tell and i have to say it was a very good book. at this point im just pleased that it was short read so that i could knock it out quickly and not deal with the fright for too long. for some damn reason im skittish and things are affecting me more.

but as for the book its essentially a ghost story and who done it. for me if i concentrated on trying to find out who the child killer was it was easier to deal. in general i have to recommend this book. its not nearly as scary as i make it out to be. and i would love to say more about it but fear giving anything away.

ps. beat the first boss in zelda ^_^

Bad Me

2009-01-22T16:38:00.000-08:00

i didnt write at all yesterday. oops. poo on me. between zelda and this book i haven't done much of anything.
i'm reading promise not to tell by jennifer mcmahon. its a pretty good read. but its about a little dead girl that was murdered haunting. and you know what, sometimes im a bigger chicken shit then others. im all edgy and crap so its kinda getting to me.

its reminded me of the episode of friends were joey put the shinning the freezer cause it scared him. not sounding like a bad idea right now. i hate when i get this way.

AHH

2009-01-20T13:01:00.000-08:00

My bread is yummalicous. mmmm mm. i made one with italian herbs in it and its gooood. I sewed up the hole in my body pillow. not the prettiest but my stuffing won't be hitting me in my sleep. next is my blanket. ill try for better quality on that one, ofcourse i won't be doing it while i wait for some wax to cool down so i won't have to rush.
that's two things down, a bazillion to go.

for now i'll just enjoy the rest of my evening. some oolong tea now. some wine later and some more reading.

Day two of NOM

2009-01-20T11:35:00.000-08:00

We have finished up one loaf already. It was just as wonderful the second day. Right now I am letting the rest of the douhg rise. I made two more loaves and four sandwich rolls. the rolls are an experiment, i have about three minutes left until i put them in the oven. depending on if they got too big or not. it's all trial and error at this point.

MMMMM, NOM NOMMIE

2009-01-19T19:35:00.000-08:00

I am so proud of myself. I have baked two wonderful, chewy, crusty, warm loaves of bread tonight. and here are a few pictures of the adventure.

My two molded loaves.

and here they are cut.

crispy in the oven getting ready to be pulled out that is the broil pan underneth that you put water in for the steam baking

Aren't they cute ? ^_^

FRESH BAKED BREAD!!!!!!!! its great.

I used the master recipe in the book i had gotten the other day Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day, and i was very easy and simple. I just didn't pay attention at some points. But that is my fault not the books. and the bread came out great despite my screw up.

on a side note this is the first time i have uploaded multiple pictures and it was a bit of challenge and took several tries. if anyone has any adivce let me know please

Doom was Correct

2009-01-19T14:06:00.000-08:00

i just finished mixing up my dough. about half way through i heard my phone go off a couple of times so i went to grab it. by the time i came back, i had forgotten how many cups of flower i put in. since it was a little on the wet side my father and i thought i needed one more cup. only after i had put the dough in the fridge and cleaned up did i read the part saying that the dough was to be wet and conform to its container. which is was not anymore. oops. the past couple of weeks i have been horribly forgetful. this time it will actually affect something. so i put a bit more water in just to try to fix my error. we will see i guess.

let me state for the record right now. i have never been taught to cook. its a learning process for me an my boyfriend has been pretty helpful. my absence of domestic abilities is what is pushing me right now to learn. at some point I'll share my view on all that.

Gloom and Doom

2009-01-19T12:39:00.000-08:00

It's one of those pretty grey, gonna rain at some point days. the kinda where all you want to do is snuggle. since i can't snuggle instead I'm baking bread!!! yay. I'm so proud of myself. this will be my first loaf. so sad. 27 years of life and never have i made a loaf of bread. what is the world coming to.
also on the list to do today. me nails. i haven't in a long long time. i miss having a girly friend to do all those stupid cutesy things with. but there's a hole there I'm not sure when it will get filled.
so about a month ago i went down to one day a week at my part time job. i was just too over worked and tired. but the bad thing is i really miss the people i work. not to mention i feel like I'm losing my place there. and if i am i have no one to blame but myself. I'm the one who pulled back from them when i cut back my hours. but i had to. Le sigh.

off to hunt the baking stone.

Couldn't not write today

2009-01-18T20:39:00.000-08:00

I just figured out something new with the labellings. I'll fix it tomorrow.

I've been really stressed out lately. one major issue in that has been resolved, so that's good. but I've still had a headache for over four days now. and extreme exhaustion. but the tummy bug is gone.

i was informed at work yesterday that I'm getting a new manager. they are apparently trading out a few department mangers. not that i have the best manger in the world, but i know what to expect out of her and i dread who might be placed there. I'm not even going into the other issues brought up by this. but needless to say it's making work that much more miserable. i really need to try to figure out what I'm going to do job wise when i move. Ive been told it's near impossible to get full time status on a transfer right now. and the thought of starting with a new company the way things are going is scary.

also, it just dawned on me, i have a four year warranty on my computer that i bought from circuit city. what happens to that with them closing? i guess that's another call i have to add to my list for tomorrow.

i got cake flour and yeast today. along with almond extract and vanilla. i didn't realize how expensive almond extract was. boo. one of my next two days off I'm going to try out the master recipe from the Artisan Bread book and make a strawberry sponge cake. mmmmmmmmmmmm.

now to stop clenching my jaw.

First Try

2009-01-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

I had rice balls tonight out of sushi rice. i was a bit more strachy than i thought, perhapes a quick wash won't make it too unstrachy. i tried making some blue ones too. ill be trying to prefect this, then i'll take pictures. probably post them monday.

i got so wrapped up in zelda tonight i completely lost track of time and i have to work in the morning :(

a lame day

2009-01-16T15:03:00.000-08:00

today has been fairly uneventful. im still stressing, possibly a bit more each day. i ended up leaving work early cause i haven't been feeling well since last night. and i called into my second job. i hate doing that since i went downt to just one day a week. just happens this week im sick that one day. so instead im sitting around playing mario cart. my eyes have gotten that glazed over can see through anything to see the screen look. its been a while since ive been that involved in a game. next up is zelda twilight princess. you know i was thinking, and i would like to some how get a couple of game characters incorperated into a tattoo. of course i have a few before that that i want to get and dont have the money for.
im so out of it. i cant think. its like a mild amnesia. i remember something but when i go to reach for it in my mind its like its been moved or hidden. le sigh. game time.

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

2009-01-15T17:27:00.000-08:00

wii's are great! its wonderful playing it and thinking "geez, we went from space invaders to this?" hell, we still have the old caleco vision system,in storage.
I've been playing wii sports and I'm pretty addicted to the bowling, tennis, and boxing. though the latter two I'm still trying to get the hang of. we figure a couple more bowling games and the wii totally pays for itself.
now granted, the wii is no replacement for actually going and doing these things. but really, its amazing how much work it is.

games=good technology

LLama Video

2009-01-15T13:39:00.000-08:00

this is mostly just a test at uploading videos. this video is from the last time i went to the zoo. i had taken my parents since they had never been. my dad ended up exciting one llama and making the other jealous in the process. i wish i had taped it all. the second video is better in some was cause its the llamas fighting kinda afterwards. i might upload it later.

Nighty Night

2009-01-14T20:05:00.000-08:00

It's been a long day.
Again, me luvs the wii!!!

It was my books at the door yesterday.

- Birds in the Hand: Fiction and Poetry about Birds
- Driving with Dead People
- Face Food: The Visual Creativity OF Japanese Bento Boxes (i'll go ahead and say it now, i wasnt that impressed by this one. it had some good pictures in it, but the book was much smaller then expected and there was no instruction-perhapes i had the wrong expectations)
- Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith
- Mortician's Daughter
- I Promise Not to Tell
- The Ladies of Grace Adieu ( i already have this but i really couldn't pass up the hardcover for 1.74)
- Virago Book of Erotic Myths and Legends
- Tamar: Unveiled
- Kanji: pict-o-graphix

all that and i only paid 30 yay me!!

Tomorrow, I am trying something new and will try to load up a video from the last time i went to the zoo.

Sleep now. Sweet dreams!!!!

HA HA WHO WHO

2009-01-14T13:17:00.000-08:00

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES I DID IT!!!!!!!

so i know they arent terribly impressive, but i did get the blogger/picasa/blogthis thing fixed.

now to figure out how to do layout set up with them right

Still Trying

2009-01-14T12:54:00.000-08:00

Yeah...im getting a little bonkers here. this whole trying to set up picasa with the blog is causing issues. to the point that its slightly affecting my blog. crosses fingers that it doesnt get worse.

bonus, we have a new wii to play with. so that keeps me distracted :D which is really good since people are pissing me off left and right. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. later for that. wii for now. hahahahahahahahahahahaha

GRRRR

2009-01-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

ive been trying for the last hour or so to upload photos from picasa to blogger via the "blogthis" button. it's saying i don't have a blog assocaited with this account. yet here i am, blogging on it. im a bit agravated and too tired to try to figure out what the problem is. in general though i really like the new picasa. it took me a while to finally download it again but im happy.

the bird came in the house again, this time there were picture taken. nothing great.

if anyone knows what i may be doinf wrong with the blogger issue, please contact me.

Tweet Tweet

2009-01-13T12:29:00.000-08:00

Today, thus far has been better than the last. However, it's a cold wet gloomy day. The kind where you want to be curled up inside goofing off with someone.
So 6 somthing this morning im leaving the house. I go to turn the light off next the front door. and there is bird poop above the switch, inside the house. we don't have a bird!!!. so i assume its from the one living in the wreath. the actual logistics of how it ended up in the house eludes me.
but, then i came home from work to find out that the bird was still in the house. ironically, it was a house wren. it would seem he didn't want to stay out in the cold last night and snuck in when the dog went out to pee. giggles. it cheered my day.

aside from that, oh i think i hear he ups man *crosses fingers* please have me books!!
umm yeah anyway, for the most part i kinda feel tenderized. Its funnyy cause when i was little i was always told that i would get sick when i cry, and it seems kinda true. when i get really upset about something i feel ill the next day. i've been in a fog and have blurry eyes. :(

i think i needs a nap.

10:10 and all is STILL not well...

2009-01-12T19:10:00.000-08:00

...actually its worse. ALOT worse. :(

End of the Work Day

2009-01-12T13:42:00.000-08:00

Work is work and we aren't even touching that one.
Plans for this evening are to work on the alpaca scarf which is almost done.

Maybe get out and go to Barnes and Nobles and look for a day planner, i feel so lost without one.
And then stop by Pier 1 which i was told was closing. Can't stay away from a good deal.

I realized today in talking to the boyfriend in regards to family issues and such, it hard for me to get self motivated. such as getting out of the house. but once i do I'm fine and you can't stop me. i guess it's just something else to work on.

5:50 am and all is not well

2009-01-12T03:03:00.000-08:00

have you ever just woke up on the wrong side of the bed?

well, that's me this morning. i woke up angry. what a wonderful way to start out the morning.
and then on top of that i had the worst dream last night. not a nightmare. just a bad dream. and for the most part of it i was craving cigarettes and giving in to them left and right. uhg. my forth month mark of not smoking is sat. and lately the cravings are getting worse.

i wish i could just just shake all the nastiness out.

off to work.

THE To-Do List

2009-01-11T15:46:00.000-08:00

alrighty. I'm sitting here after finish the laundry (thank you thank you please hold your applause) drinking some wine and thinking. I'm trying to think loud enough that i can drown out all external noise. not sure if it will work.

I'm pmsing and it's leaving me irrationally moody. yay for having a vagina. but seriously not all moodiness is irrational. and that would be why I'm trying to drown out the noises. so after that i think a hot shower and my book and hopefully an early bed time.

Upcoming Projects

crafts
- finish alpaca scarf
- pink/black scarf
- silver bracelet
- silver disk earrings
- baby blanket cross stitch

others
- trap stuffing back inside pillow with thread
- clean up computer
- upload photos over due
- strawberry cake
- try out a couple of bread recipes
- apron

that's it for now. honestly at this point that's alot. for the last four years i really haven't had anytime to wipe my ass from working so much. but since i recently cut down on hours and have a butt-load of free time it's time i get back into the habit or crafting. Honestly, that's my main intent with this here blog. Not for monetary gain, but the hopes of finding others and helping others who are doing the same. and alot of bitching with some pseudo-philosophy along the away.

as i embark on this new journey feel free to pass me around like a two dollar whore and join me.

Umm yeah

2009-01-11T12:46:00.000-08:00

hours later and no laundry done. in my defense though the machine was being used and the Karate Kid was on TV. I'm the queen of lazy right now. i have to say having a Sunday to sit around and do nothing is pretty nice. the only thing better would be sitting on the floor
surrounded by pillows and blankets with hot chocolate and the boyfriend. oh and snow outside
with a nice grey sky. shame it doesn't snow here, or that its not really cold enough for a fire.

i needs to make a list of projects.
first thing first, the washer is free so laundry. quick.

Good Morning

2009-01-11T09:28:00.000-08:00

Actually, it's afternoon and i have already been up for several hours. have i accomplished anything? no. I've been hiding out in my room. trying to stay away from the hostility. no wonder I'm always so angry.

but i did buy something extremely cute.

it's a mold for jell-o, pancakes or whatever. it's so cute.

but i think I'm going to get some lunch. one of those instant noodle things you get for a quarter. it's cheddar cheese. nom nom nom

then some laundry. boo.

Boredom

2009-01-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

this is what i found. its awes0me. i cant sleep. http://www.zefrank.com/byokal/kal2.html

a week from today is my forth month not smoking. it seems like when im week, like now cause im run-down that i get stronger cravings. but bitchin about my craving seems to help.

Perspective from last year

2009-01-10T21:09:00.000-08:00

you know how you feel like there are points in your life that you come to a fork in the road? and you look down the path and think "geez, do i go left or right?" well here im gonna fuck it up for you. i found out a while back that just because you see two paths a head of you doesn't mean that you only have two choices. actually you five; the left road, the right road, the one you just came from, or you could get off and make your own path (which actually changes your number of options greatly) or you can just sit your happy ass down and do nothing.
thats pretty much proof that i think way too much. so much so that i realized recently that i took the last choice. i've over contemplated my options so much over the past few years that instead of going anywhere i decided unconsciencly to settle down at that fork, i think perhapes i even built a house there. one day it would seem that i stopped worring about where to go and instead made it atleast bearable to stay in my indecision. so now i guess im at the point that im ready to leave my house, still with no clue as to where to go, but im clearing it out and am willing to leave it intact for who ever the next poor soul is that finds it.
good luck to me

ok....actually i wrote that late late 2007, so its been just over a year. I was going back reading some old stuff and found this. I like this one. It makes me think about the fact that i have gotten up off my ass and moved from that spot. Not as far as i would like to have, but at a very nice steady pace forward. Not sure where too still, honestly i dont think ill ever know where to. But im moving so that's all that matters ^_^

AHHHH The Newness

2009-01-10T13:33:00.000-08:00

Wow, I'm pretty excited now. I just found out how you add pages you are watching to this thing. Which means i can FINALLY clean out my favorites on explore (which is ridiculously cluttered and unorganized). To me it's still coming up invisible as far as post go. But I was told it's showing to others. Go figure.

huh?

2009-01-10T11:22:00.000-08:00

so im new to this blogger, and im trying to figure out how it works. everytime i look at my page my text isnt there until i highlight it. it reminds me of those secrete lemon juice messages you would write as a child. expect now its frustrating. so i guess im missing something and should probably read around. wish me luck, or you know, just let me know what im doing wrong.

2009-01-09T21:35:00.000-08:00

YAY! I got my books in from the book club today!!!! I just got home from work to find a package on my door step. Four shiny new books.

- Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day
- Organic Housekeeping
- Women's Daily Devotional Bible
- Fabric Sewing Guide

I ordered about 13 books from barnes and nobles last night and i only spent 35 dollars thanks to a gift card from my brother and a huge clearance sale!As soon as i look these over I'll let you know how they are. I am really looking forward to the artisan bread, i had read an article in Mother Earth News that had one of the recipes.Well time for a quick nap before job number two.